I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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