What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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