i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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