She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
