just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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