apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
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I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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