Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
