Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
