one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
