i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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