sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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