and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
