apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
