i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
