i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize