Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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