he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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