at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
