Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
