Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.