Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
