Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
