A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
