i jhust puked up my retainher.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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