after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize