i permit you to call me
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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