i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
