shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize