I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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