it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
