She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize