call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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