I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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