I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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