Michael Bay diarrhea
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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