i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
