Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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