Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize