we're blogging at a bar
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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