I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
