I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
