The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
