the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
