Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy