This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night