I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.