i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
