What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize