i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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