i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Pants are for mortals
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
