Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
what day is it and did you see me today?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
