We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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