No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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