Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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