How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
