Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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