Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
