do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
