how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Where is the hickey?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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